Dec. 28, 2020, is a date forever etched in Tracie Freeman’s memory. It’s the day she received word her son Nic had overdosed on fentanyl.
Tracie and her husband raised their three sons in upstate South Carolina. Nic was their oldest. He was shorter and slimmer than the average kid, which gave him low self-esteem, Tracie says.
“After getting into the Marine Corps, he started, as many Marines do, building his body and lifting weights,” says Tracie, a licensed practical nurse at a MinuteClinic in Easley, South Carolina. “But he also started injecting steroids and dabbling with marijuana.”
Nic moved to Kansas City, Kansas, to live with a Marine Corps friend after serving. Between then and the age of 32, his addictions grew, Tracie says. After he and his live-in girlfriend broke up, “life began unraveling for him, and he didn’t have to hide his addiction from anyone at that point.”
After he missed two days of work, his ex-girlfriend discovered him in his apartment and shared the horrible news with Tracie.
“I was shocked. And at the same time, my mind said, ‘You should have seen it coming.’ With the things he was doing, this wasn’t going to end well,” Tracie says.
One year later, Tracie and her husband attended a faith-based retreat in Hot Springs, Arkansas, hosted by While We’re Waiting, a nonprofit that offers support groups and retreats to parents who have experienced the death of a child.
On their way home, they decided to start volunteering with While We’re Waiting and become retreat facilitators.
How would you describe the experience of that first retreat for you and your husband?
We walked into a place we didn’t know to tell the story of the worst day of our lives. We didn’t know how it was going to go. We were greeted by some of the warmest, most compassionate and empathetic people. Everyone who is involved with the ministry has experienced a loss. In everyday life, people don’t want to hear you talk about your dead child all the time. But all of a sudden, you can. You're in a safe place with people who are in the same boat as you.
When did you and your husband decide to become retreat facilitators for While We’re Waiting?
I know my husband’s heart. We’ve been together 27 years, and he’s very ministry minded. After the retreat, we’re sitting on the airplane on our way back home, and he said, “I have something I need to tell you.” And I said, “I already know what it is.” He said, “OK, smarty pants, what is it?” And I said, “We need to be facilitators. We need to be a part of this ministry.” He said, “How did you know?” I said, “I just knew.” We put in to become facilitators after that and started in 2022.
Why do you volunteer?
We tell the parents on Friday night, “You’re here. You’re some of the bravest people we’ve ever known.” We’ve had a lot of parents tell us they drove past the entrance five times and thought about just turning around and going back home. But to see what happens between Friday and Sunday, we look forward to it. We look forward to knowing their children and sharing their stories.
With each retreat, there’s a range of emotions. Sometimes they’re peaceful. Sometimes people are very mad. But to watch that transformation — how people are able to shed some of their grief — that makes it all worth it. You watch people get hope.
It’s amazing to see how someone can pick themselves up with an encouraging word or with a hand to hold. Honestly, the retreats are very therapeutic for us, as well. We get to share our child’s story.
How has your volunteer work helped the parents who have lost a child?
At the retreats, my husband and I go first because Nic’s life was messy. Some of the people in the room had perfect children who died in a car accident, others lost their children to suicide or an overdose. We go first to let everybody know that we had a child who was missing for two days and died of a drug overdose. When we do that, we can see some people in the room exhale as they realize they won’t be judged.
How have you applied what you learned while volunteering to your job at MinuteClinic?
I’m more empathetic. I have more discernment. I’m much better at reading patients. Every once in a while, a patient will mention they’ve lost a child, and I’ll give them a hug. We forget how much small acts of kindness mean to people.
How has the company supported your volunteering?
This is the third year the CVS Health Foundation supported While We’re Waiting with a Volunteer Challenge Grant, and I log my volunteer hours in Community Crew in order to get them. Also, we donate monthly to While We’re Waiting, and the Matching Gifts program matches it.
